dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
