Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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