Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
