I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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