It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
