Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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