literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
