I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
