I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
