oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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