I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
