I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
