Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
