i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
