I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
