I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
