Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have fence marks all over my body
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize