PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
