Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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