Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
