I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
