Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize