Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
