Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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