your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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