Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
