It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
