i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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