I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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