hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
