I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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