I CAN MOONWALK!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
