remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
