she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
