I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
