so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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