i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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