He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize