Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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