I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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