Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
