i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
