he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
