Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize