Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
