Im at strip club and am horny
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
