What a fucking waste of an outfit
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize