Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
