I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
