Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
now i know why i became what i already was.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My ass is underappreciated
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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