He felt like a one man threesome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
