It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Non-Jews are for practice
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
