Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
