I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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