Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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