Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
