Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
