wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
my poor anus
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
