Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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