he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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