atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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